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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23244649">i still love you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariafuckingcalavera/pseuds/mariafuckingcalavera'>mariafuckingcalavera</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>RWBY</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon Rewrite, Fair Game Week (RWBY), Freeform, M/M, Major Character Injury, POV First Person, POV Third Person, Relationship(s), Rewrite, Spoilers: Volume 7 (RWBY), Unreliable Narrator, volume 7 chapter 12 rewrite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:09:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,390</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23244649</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariafuckingcalavera/pseuds/mariafuckingcalavera</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>God forbid Qrow Branwen and Clover Ebi meet once again. For the sake of Atlas.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Qrow Branwen &amp; Clover Ebi, Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i still love you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>day 6 of fairgame week!! today's theme is atlas ball/mantle battle, i hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Clover?" Dread.</p><p></p><div>
  <p>"Qrow, you should know that I’ve been asked to bring you in." Regret.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Not you too." Heartbreak.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tyrian would forsake any pleasure to stay in this moment.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He would forsake anything, deny himself anything else in the world to stay right here: to see the tension buzzing in the air, thick enough to slice through. Thick enough to feel the oozing of feelings going unsaid, the hurt bleeding out of the tension as every word sank into it, making it more luscious.  Each word poison to the tongue, venom to the other. Each word speeding up the seconds until one of them ticked, their emotions just as alive and volatile as the dust in their ammunition. Three voices, hundreds of emotions and fear all wrapped up in a ribbon of tension, presenting a time bomb with seconds on the clock and hands lingering on their sides, itching to hurt, daring the other to give them a reason to. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>(Give them a reason to, pleaseplease<em>please </em>give them a reason, I <em>beg</em> of you- give them a reason for their fingers to dig deep into your skin and muscle, give them a reason for the copper smell of blood to intoxicate the air, wafting into their noses, consuming them in the taste of regret on their tongues-) </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Qrow, I'm sorry." (Let him tear you apart as he bathes in the heartbreak you caused.)</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I <em>trusted </em>you, lucky charm." </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tyrian relishes in the way his voice positively shatters towards the end, creating a beautiful, tortured symphony: an agonising diminuendo, drumming with the ache in his heart, the unstable, wavering andante that split from his lips: a shimmering concoction of moonlight, tears and venom so stained by heartbreak and utter betrayal, Tyrian could taste it on his lips and oh did it taste<em> heavenly.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>And he giggles with glee as the pulse of the air went from maestro to a deafening allegretto, pounding in his ears, stretching like a bowstring before snapping, breaking, the thrum in the rhythm of prestissimo, ticking, ticking, running out of time.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tick tock. Tick tock. (The air like a ticking time bomb, the anger humming in the air.)</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I <em>loved </em>you, Clover."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tick tock, tick tock- (He scampers to the pilot, slicing his neck, giggling with glee.)</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Qrow, don't do this to me." A sob escapes his throat.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Ticktockticktockticktock-</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Don't make me choose." </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Boom.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He cackles with joy as the ship goes crashing down to the storming tundras.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>And that wasn't even the best part.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I trust James with my life! I wanted to trust <em>you-"</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>After all, there was nothing more delightful than the sound of metal tearing through flesh, followed by the shrill sound of agony.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>~~~</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Where was your luck now, Clover Ebi?</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Where was your luck when you needed it the most, where was your luck when you said you trusted me, where was your luck when the ship came crashing down? Where was your luck when the light faded from your eyes? Where was your luck when you lay in the snow, bleeding out because of my mistake? God forbid you wasted it on our pathetic card games, on our lucky shots, god forbid you waste it on me as you kissed my lips in the moonlight, two shattered pieces- one pristine, pure, perfect, one flawed beyond repair- fixing each other. God forbid you let my semblance and self-hatred lay forgotten as you threaded your callused fingers through my hair, your eyes staring into my own, showing me that love was not coloured the silver of death and grief but the teal green of your eyes and your stupid puns I can't help but laugh at. God forbid your luck blind you from all my imperfections, from all the jagged edges you could have cut yourself on if you weren't careful. And god fucking forbid I lose you to the jagged edges of my soul, that I see your blood, deep red against the stark white, the light fading from your eyes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>But in my joy, in my naivety, in the home I found in your teal green eyes, your arms and that stupid smile- I forgot the gods have forbid certain things before.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>I trusted you, Clover Ebi. I loved you.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>I still love you.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was selfish of me to keep you close, instead of keeping you safe.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>~~~</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Where was my unlucky lover, Qrow Branwen?</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Where was my lover when the doctors were working to save my life, where was my lover when I started to draw my first breaths with gears running alongside muscle and veins, where was my lover when I felt your tears fall on my face, your presence, your cries of utter despair that broke my heart too much for it to stop beating? Where was my lover when I awoke, your name on my lips? Where was my lover when I saw you crying and screaming in my slumber, begging the gods to spare my life, to take yours instead so I may walk the earth? God forbid you left me here to rot in this pristine, perfect prison, god forbid that you left me to your own misery and self-hatred, to the memories that haunt your mind just as they haunt mine, the only jagged edge of yours I would ever detest. God forbid you let my anxiety fade and my heart lay on my sleeve, ready, open, ready to love you with no walls guarding my heart, no chains holding me back from falling so deep and desperately in love with the rose-red of your eyes and that beautiful smile on your face after you roll your eyes at my jokes. God forbid my semblance define everything I do- you taught me that it doesn't, after all, that everything I achieved is my own, except your love: that was something you gave me willingly, letting your fragile heart into my hands. And god fucking forbid I lose you to the rigidity and the order of my life, that I see your tears, transparent against your skin, the light fading from your eyes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>But in my happiness, in my ignorance, in the home I found in your rose-red eyes, your embrace and your beautiful laugh- I forgot the gods forbid certain things before.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>I trusted you, Qrow Branwen. I loved you.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>I still love you.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was stupid of me to follow my mind, instead of my heart.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>~~~</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Permission to speak freely, General?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It had been two weeks since Salem arrived at their doorstep, two weeks since Ironwood had their warrants out for the arrests of teams RWBY and JNR, two weeks since Clover Ebi was brought in on the brink of death and Qrow Branwen was dragged in, screaming, crying, begging for someone to help him, to save him. It had been two weeks ever since he was allowed to leave, but chose to stay- I can't hurt anyone else here, he had said, they had all heard his word loud and clear. Now, they both looked at Clover's hospital ward and Qrow's prison cell, screens next to each other, as Qrow held Clover's pin in his hands, Clover holding a black feather that was undoubtedly Qrow's.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Permission granted, Winter." Ironwood sighed as he collapsed his scroll, looking up at the specialist. Her arms instinctively crossed over her body as she looked down, unable to meet Ironwood's eyes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It feels...wrong, keeping them apart. They should at least know the other is alive. Telling Operative Ebi that Qrow had died whilst pursuing Tyrian Callows, and telling Qrow that Operative Ebi died from his injuries...General, both of those statements are false and keeping them apart feels wrong." Winter stated her opinion, her tone steely calm: her personal version of empathy and pity, and they both knew it. But this was necessary, and they both knew that too: with Penny gone and the power of the Winter Maiden out of their grasp, they needed all the help they could get: they couldn't lose two valuable soldiers to each other, no matter how broken their hearts were.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They would heal, in time.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Just not with each other.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Winter looked at the screens, and though they didn't have audio, she swore she saw them mutter the same words at the same time.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>"I still love you."</em>
  </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
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